Most of us think that we need to know what to do in this situation or how to handle this problem.
The most common thing I hear from my inner self and others is “just tell me what to do and I will do it” Or “just tell me what the right thing is”.
It used to look to me like, there was a universal solution for every problem, and I just need to find it.
Problem A should have this solution. Do this and this problem will get solved. Problem B: Do this and that problem will get solved.
My kid is misbehaving, do this and magically your kid will behave. Not enough money: work harder or get an extra degree or… and you will make more money. Marriage problems: whatever people say to help that.
I don’t know about all of you out there, but none of these “universal solutions” seem to help. Or maybe they help but it isn’t long lasting, and it is not sustainable.
I want to tell you there is no universal solution out there, but there are INTERNAL SOLUTIONS, within ourselves .When we learn how to identify our helpful voice, the voice that comes with helpful ideas.
When we learn to trust that voice, even when it goes against everything the so called “experts” say. You will see so many of your problems get solved, faster and more permanently.
We are all born with an innate ability to solve and manage any problem or situation in our life. We have access to every solution we ever need.
Our problem is, that we think other people know better than us how to run our lives. That is not true. You may say to me “that person has such a good life she, is so put together”
You know why she is like that because she listens to herself, she follows her own inner wisdom and common sense.
She seeks advice, weighs everyone’s opinion, then decides for herself the best way to handle the situation.
There are no rules, so today the situation can call for this solution and tomorrow, the same situation can call for a different solution. We have to live in the moment. We have to be present in our lives.
For Example: You have boss who is constantly short tempered to you. Everyone has different opinions on how to handle it. Some say just ignore it, some say you need to say something to him, some say quit.
The first thing you need to think about, is, does his bring short tempered to you really bother you or is everyone telling you it should bother you. Be truthful with yourself make sure YOU have a problem.
Let’s say you decide that you do want to try and stop the boss from yelling at you. Again many people give their opinions, solicited and unsolicited.
It is ok to take their advice under consideration, but ultimately the decision is yours, because ultimately the consequences of that decision (good or bad) are yours.
Everyone has a lot to say when their life won’t be affected.
Next: you make a decision, you are going to say something to your boss.
Here is where living in the moment comes in. You get into his office and telling him something just doesn’t feel right. (We have all been in a situation where at the last minute we change our minds, if someone says what happened? Why did you go against the plan? The answer is, it just didn’t feel right.)
You have permission to follow your intuition even when it goes against your previous decision.
Now it doesn’t end there. 10 or 20 or 60 minutes later it may occur to you, “now is the time to go talk” Living in the moment means being aware of your thoughts and feelings moment to moment and being present enough to act on them if need be.
Our lives should not consist of extremes. I never confront, or I always confront. I am never confident, I am always confident.
Why? Because in real life we need balance, there are times when confrontation is called for and times when it’s not.
There are times when humility is called for and times when it’s not. There are times when discipline is called for and times when it’s not.
Only we can know for ourselves what reaction or solution is called for in our lives, No other person has access to your inner wisdom and common sense. which means they can’t solve your problems for you, and you can’t solve their problems for them.
Proper balance means, knowing when certain reactions are called for and when they’re not. If someone tells me I never tell my kid what to do, they have a problem, because there may be a time when your kid needs direction, and you won’t be present enough to know. Why because you have a rule which says never tell your kid what to do.
We need to live our lives present and in proper balance. Listening to ourselves, and only then making decisions on how to best handle the situation.