I have always had the feeling that soon I would find the answers I have been looking for, but somehow those answers were always just beyond my reach.

No matter how many books on psychology I read and learned, what I was looking for was always just ahead of me, almost in my grasp, but not quite there.

I am now happy to say that I have finally found what I have been searching for. I call it ‘the missing link’.

This information is what ties together all of my learning and exploration of myself and of G-d.

This understanding has affected my life in every way. I am a better wife, mother, daughter and friend. Most of all, I am a better person.

What I have found is my psychological health, or in plain English, peace of mind.

I don’t want to sound like I’ve never had peace of mind before, because that is not true. There have been times when I have felt happy and peaceful, but there have been many times when I have not.

I could never hold on to the happy, peaceful feeling; it seemed to come when it wanted and would leave just as mysteriously. What I was searching for was how to get that feeling to stay.

When I say I found peace of mind, I don’t mean that I now walk around all day calm and peaceful (although I find that I do so a lot more than I ever did before).

What I mean is that I have found a place inside where my inner wisdom, strength, compassion and inner joy lives. I have found that the keys to peace of mind and happiness are not in outside circumstances, but within.

The more I live from that inner place, the more things seem to make sense and the less effort I have to make.

There is no comparison between the life I had before learning this, and the life I have now. It is the difference between existing and feeling really alive.

Before learning about these principles, I used to take life way too seriously. I was always scared, anxious and stressed.

I thought that a lot of things were problems I had to solve. I had to figure things out and always be one step ahead of the game.

For example, if I would start to work on a project, I would constantly think of every problem that might come up and try to work out how to deal with it from a hundred different angles in case it did happen.

I would constantly be on the lookout for what might go wrong. If a problem occurred that I hadn’t thought of, I would go into a panic and try to figure out how to solve it or head it off.

If things didn’t go the way I felt they should, I would be very critical of myself and others.

Through this whole process I attributed all my stress and anxiety to the project. When I finished the project I would feel better because, after all, it was the project that was making me crazy and stressed.

Yet after I started learning about the principles, I started seeing for myself that I could work on a project and be calmer while doing so based on the thoughts I was paying attention to.

I was able to solve problems more easily and with more common sense and inner wisdom than I ever did before.

Instead of living in anticipation of a problem, I chose to live in the moment – where there was no problem – and solve or work on the resolution to a problem only when and if it came up.

That alone took almost all the stress away. I found that not only was it not helpful to work on projects in a stressful state, it was actually harmful.

I found that I had much more creative ideas while working on the project, and much wiser solutions to the real problems that might come up.

Before I learned this approach, I subconsciously thought that stressful thinking was helpful, even necessary. I learned that the opposite is actually true: stressful thinking is not necessary and could actually ruin the project.

What I came to realize was that in my mind everything was a project, from parenting to marriage, from business and weight loss to friendships.

I was in a constant state of anticipation. I needed my kids to grow up already so I could stop worrying about them.

I needed my husband to make a certain amount of money so I could feel safe.

I needed to be a certain weight and look a certain way.

Even friendships were stressful, because what if I said something I shouldn’t have, or I didn’t help when I should have?

What was happening was that I wasn’t enjoying my kids, my husband, or my friends. I love all of them, but I thought loving them meant worrying about them, or taking care of them.

After learning this approach, after seeing that the worry, fear and anxiety DO NOT help, DO NOT mean I am a good friend, parent or spouse, I actually enjoy my friends and family.

I can now roll with the punches, and laugh at the “mistakes”. I can say something “wrong”, apologize and move on.

I can allow other people to take care of themselves, because the same inner wisdom and innate resiliency I found in myself, exists in them as well.